Score: 10

"Pure genius"

submission: Pickleman Begins Betatest

date: April 1, 2008

I'm sure most of the kids that populate NG won't get the ET reference, though.

Score: 10

"HOLY..."

submission: Tchaqui Nouris World Beta

date: August 21, 2007

THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Score: 7

"Impressive"

submission: Ibuki vs Makoto

date: August 21, 2007

It's not a life changing experience. It's just two girls fighting as they speak nonsense to each other but you sure have skills. The animation is very fluid. Must have taken a lot of work. And I like the music. Sounds very consistent with the "Street Fighter III: Third Strike" soundtrack, which I love.
I enjoyed it.

Score: 5

"Random indeed..."

submission: <Washoop>

date: July 20, 2007

For the most part it's not bad, but couldn't you at least have finished it? Or if it's supposed to be a finished piece, couldn't you make the ending a little less abrupt?
I'm taking the time to write this because I did find this random, meaningless, self indulgent little cartoon entertaining, and I would have liked to have watched an actual finished piece, not this fragment of what could have been.
Still, nice job.
I know you were just messing around when you made this, but you submitted the results for a reason, and that reason is possibly the probable fact that you found yourself entertained by your own work, so I'll go ahead and say this.
Next time you mess around, stay off figurative drawing. The begining of the cartoon is horrible. The way you employed colors just doesn't go with the flow of the song, and as a result the whole thing looks stiff. Then you opted to make it more simplistic and drew figures in squiggly lines, morphing continuously into other figures, and the result is more entertaining and flows better with the song, even though it still looks very amateurish. Towards the end, you started using dots, lines, spirals, etc. and that is where I found merit in this thing. You appear to enjoy yourself more when drawing and animating such things, and you also animate them well. You made them very dynamic. They appear to be dancing to the song. You could have made it all flow better with the rhythm of the song but I won't nitpick. The point is that you're at your best when you're dealing with simple lines and dots.
Who the fuck am I? Why am I telling you this?
Because I've got a suggestion. Why should you be making normal cartoons like everybody else if there are ways to use flash that you find more enjoyable? Why not make dots and lines your unique style? With some practice, you could make beautiful work eventually, and probably get recognition in newgrounds for your uniqueness, too. It might seem ridiculous, but painters like Pollock and Mondrian made great art from similarly ridiculous concepts.
When I say this, I don't mean that you should literally go for lines and dots. I mean that you should embrace abstraction as something more than "messing around". There are at least 10000000 animators who are better than you at traditional animation. If you go for uniqueness, you'll be in your own category and have something new to offer.

Hm, look at what I've just wrote. The most random, unfocused review ever. Only fitting, really, isn't it, given the overwhelming randomness of this cartoon?

Score: 10

"Best Game Ever"

submission: Sun Stories

date: June 29, 2007

I would buy this if it were commercially released. It's that good.
I could stare directly at that sun for days.

Score: 5

"No substance"

submission: Duck Luck Episode #8

date: June 12, 2007

Nice graphics, nice animation style. These are all the nice things I can say about this cartoon.
You have all the flash skills to make good cartoons, you're just not interesting enough to be entertaining. How old are you? You sound like you're 13, maybe 14 or 15. At that age, you ought to be dedicating your time to growing up, not making cartoons. I mean, it's ok to make cartoons, if that makes you happy, but reading your comments and your reactions to bad reviews, it's obvious that you life IS flash. If you have no experience in the real world, how can you ever hope to be a good storyteller?
I think you should try stepping out of your room, making friends and just fucking LIVING. In a couple of years you may be ready to tell stories. As of now, you're a sad, lonely, obnoxious little kid with no life trying to prove himself to the world through flash. Flash skills alone don't do the trick. You need substance, and there's virtually none of it on display here.

Score: 4

"Linkin Park?!"

submission: BlobCombat.

date: November 10, 2006

Why?! This isn't non-stop action! Linkin Park gets you pumped up for an intense action sequence. This has violence, but it's not action. Use quieter music. Something atmospheric but SUBTLE. You were probably going for a story, not pointless violence, so you should also improve your writing. The animation isn't bad, but I can see you were going for something bigger than this, and failed to deliver. You're probably not very experienced so make simpler stuff for now, with no pretentions. When you develop into a better storyteller and/or animator, then you can make more ambitious attempts. For now, you've still got a lot to learn and aren't yet ready to handle complexity(even if the concept of "blobcombat" doesn't sound complex at all, it can be).

Score: 7

"I hate anime"

submission: Mums in Heaven

date: November 9, 2006

So you know I'm a little biased. I hate this obsession NG appears to have with anime or Japan in general. If you're not japanese and you can't draw anime all that well anyway, you should try developing your own style, instead of doing what others have already done millions of times. Also, there wasn't much going on, just a lot of crying and looking generally sad. Not that it matters much. It all looks like it's centred around the music, not the storyline, and you animated the pictures that came to your mind from listening to the music. The music isn't bad at all, by the way, and your playing is ok as well.
It does look like you put a good amount of work in this(not too much but certainly more than the average portal entry) and that counts. I just find the anime style and the over the top emotions a huge turn-off.

Score: 10

"YAY!!!"

submission: 3d logic

date: November 6, 2006

It's a fun game that may help you see how smart you are. I felt I should really play this, for a challenge, you know, I thought I had finally found a match for my intellect. By level 16 I realized I'm pretty dumb, so the only logical thing to do right now is to back away from the computer and bang my head against the wall.

Score: 6

"A Beautiful Tale"

submission: Honry Tony

date: November 3, 2006

We are introduced to ugly little Tony and his oversized gonorrhea infested genitalia in the beginning. Absolute nonsense takes place and one is left to wonder why his parents haven't taken him out of his misery yet. However, all the disgusting antics we were presented form a coherent and beautiful ending, when ugly little Tony's oversized gonorrhea infested genitalia prove to be the sollution to all the problems evident in society today. Before Tony, we were all living in our own little world despite all the people around us. Now that Tony's come along, we are all brothers. We are one with His oversized gonorrhea infested genitalia. Brought a tear to my eye.
Everybody should watch this. It teaches the world a valuable lesson.